Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Drinking Game

My wife suggested we come up with some drinking game to play during the State of the Union address. I agreed it would be better watched while drunk, but stuck with my seltzer.

Speaking of drinking, remember the classic ventriloquist's trick of taking a drink of water while the dummy continues to talk? Clearly, Cheney isn't good enough to pull that off, because when he took a drink, so did Bush.

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

the 10 things that I really don't want to tell you but will because kosherkunt made me

What strange power is it that Katie Schwartz wields over me? It's not like she makes me kugel and then threatens to withhold it? Yet time and again she instructs me to fill out her meme forms (though G-d knows she can fill out a form *wink wink*). And I note that she even realizes there are others over whom she holds no sway and thus they will not submit to this humiliation. So, with head hung low, here goes...

10. I put myself out there as a clever imp from the 5th dimension, but all I am is a pantywaist that does whatever women bloggers tell me to (Schwartz is the worst case, but then there's Guth.)

9. I once owned a Kenny G CD. But it did help me get laid one time.

8. We use cloth napkins in our house and I can't stand it if another family member leaves theirs crumpled up when dinner is done. Must be refolded.

7. I have an iPod Nano. I won it a year ago. It's still in the box.

6. I still regret turning down a good friend in high school who wanted to be my girlfriend.

5. In high school my best friend and I had a make-believe radio station. We'd go downtown in New York and interview people. My hand and microphone appeared in a Time magazine photo when we were "covering" a speech by Gloria Steinem. We pissed off some working reporters with our antics. Related: I have a tape of myself at age 5 doing pretend man-in-the-street interviews.

4. The same friend and I had a make-believe jug band and approached the Mayor of New York City one time to recite a scripted introduction to our make-believe album on our make-believe record label. He did.

3. My favorite cousin and I had a club called the Dirty Works Club when we were 9. We were the only members. Purpose of the club was to make his little brothers miserable. We met in our aunt's walk-in closet. We told our parents we had a club called the Good Deeds Club.

2. The consistency of eggplant makes me want to retch.

1. The scent of a hot corned beef sandwich brings me great comfort.

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

The Sexiest Pinko

I'm infatuated with Katrina vanden Heuvel, editor of The Nation. She's the left's answer to Anne Cunter, and she doesn't have an Adam's Apple. No, Katrina has legs, and she knows how to use them. When she talks about politics my knees get weak.

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Monday, January 01, 2007

Where Are You, Madalyn Murray O'Hair?

"The time of the rapture is at hand... Do you know someone who is in danger of being "left behind" because of a sinful life? Imagine if you could write a letter to a friend or loved one after the Great Day of Reckoning...This is where the Post-Rapture Post comes in...Just write your letter and it will be hand-delivered immediately following the exodus of the pure from the Earth. But you must be thinking to yourself, "How can the letters be delivered after the Rapture?" The answer is simple. The creators of this site are Atheists." (more)

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