Saturday, January 20, 2007

the 10 things that I really don't want to tell you but will because kosherkunt made me

What strange power is it that Katie Schwartz wields over me? It's not like she makes me kugel and then threatens to withhold it? Yet time and again she instructs me to fill out her meme forms (though G-d knows she can fill out a form *wink wink*). And I note that she even realizes there are others over whom she holds no sway and thus they will not submit to this humiliation. So, with head hung low, here goes...

10. I put myself out there as a clever imp from the 5th dimension, but all I am is a pantywaist that does whatever women bloggers tell me to (Schwartz is the worst case, but then there's Guth.)

9. I once owned a Kenny G CD. But it did help me get laid one time.

8. We use cloth napkins in our house and I can't stand it if another family member leaves theirs crumpled up when dinner is done. Must be refolded.

7. I have an iPod Nano. I won it a year ago. It's still in the box.

6. I still regret turning down a good friend in high school who wanted to be my girlfriend.

5. In high school my best friend and I had a make-believe radio station. We'd go downtown in New York and interview people. My hand and microphone appeared in a Time magazine photo when we were "covering" a speech by Gloria Steinem. We pissed off some working reporters with our antics. Related: I have a tape of myself at age 5 doing pretend man-in-the-street interviews.

4. The same friend and I had a make-believe jug band and approached the Mayor of New York City one time to recite a scripted introduction to our make-believe album on our make-believe record label. He did.

3. My favorite cousin and I had a club called the Dirty Works Club when we were 9. We were the only members. Purpose of the club was to make his little brothers miserable. We met in our aunt's walk-in closet. We told our parents we had a club called the Good Deeds Club.

2. The consistency of eggplant makes me want to retch.

1. The scent of a hot corned beef sandwich brings me great comfort.

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Anonymous said...

you are so fucking hysterical, it's just wrong.

kenny g.... rolling from you.

why haven't you cut loose on the nano? what gives? a year in the box. that feels very freudian to me.

loved the meem.


Anonymous said...

ps: I've stopped menstruating and I'm now ovulating. just keeping you in the loop.

Eric Riback said...

(staring at the Nano) I don’t know…maybe I don’t have the time because I’m blogging too much?

Writeprocrastinator said...

"It's not like she makes me kugel and then threatens to withhold it?"


Writeprocrastinator said...

"The scent of a hot corned beef sandwich brings me great comfort."

As it does for all non-veggies.

Sarah Kate said...

Hey, you know, if you aren't going to use that Nano, I'll take it. :) Just trying to be helpful.