Tuesday, September 11, 2007

If You Hate Us

I passed this uniquely American megachurch on the way to the Dayton airport this afternoon. Flying, on September 11, from the town where the Wright Brothers worked, made me reflect on this country and what it means to me.

Are we imperialists? Capitalists who put money ahead of our environment and safety? Overfed whiney childlike adults? The land of excess? Sure. But we are so much more that is good for us and the world. And, fuck it, it's my country.

So, please, criticize and protest, whether a US citizen or a world citizen. But if you hate us so much that you would wish us harm, please:

  • Get off my internet. My military created it with my tax dollars.
  • Stop using GPS. My military created it with my tax dollars.
  • Don't use airplanes -- we invented them.
  • Don't use telephones - we invented them.
  • Don't look at TV - we invented that.
  • Oh, yeah, don't turn on the light. You guessed it.
  • No McDonald's for you.
  • And for God's sake, don't wear Nikes and NBA jerseys while you're shouting "Death to America." It makes you look pathetic.

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