Skid Marks

by Mxyzptlk

"On National Underwear Day, underwear finally gets the recognition it truly deserves," said Michael Kleinmann. "We've had lots of public participation, with New Yorkers showing their panties and joining the festivities.

How is that day different from any other day? In New York and other cities, underwear has been outerwear for some years now. And with Vickie's not-so-Secret-stuff blasted all over network TV, it's hard to argue undies don't get the attention they "deserve."

As a male imp, mind you, I'm not complaining. I like to see lacy slips worn as dresses, bras and bra-straps showing, thongs peeking out behind women's trousers. Not thrilled about seeing boxers riding well above guys' low-rider jeans, however.

Remember when they couldn't show live models in bra commercials, and there was Jane Russell standing next to a mannequin saying how her Playtex bra "lifts and separates" (as a kid, I wondered what it lifted and separated) for "us full-figured gals" (also wondered what that meant).

Long before my eyes found Playboy or National Geographic, there was the Sunday New York Times Magazine. That had the hottest lingerie ads. And of course, I thought it was pronounced leengeree.

The trend I really don't understand is men going to skivvies without an operable fly. Seems we want less convenience for some reasons. Or maybe we had the equivalent of VPL...VFL? I dunno, but I want to get in and out of the latrine as fast as possible, and having to undo the belt and everything else just slows one down.

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